Kudos Penos

  TAYO NA LANG BA? Hindi ko naman naisip na lumayo... dahil lumalapit ka. Bakit naging ganoon? Hindi ba pwedeng permanente ang paglayo? Subukan ang puso na 'wag magpadala sa panunuyo? Mahirap. Mahirap kumapit sa alam mong wala kang kakapitan. Para kang lumaban na hindi mo alam na sya ang kapitan. Kapitan ng puso mong naghahangad na mapansin. Tumingin. Sumilip. Pero di pwedeng kunin. Isa kang mahika. Isang alamat na kahit si Genie ay di makuha ang lohika. Baliw. Musika ang saliw. Hihimbing pero magtatanong pa rin... Tayo na lang ba? Tila isang tunog sa lumang music box na may rosas, Alam kong may pag asa kaya pinipitas. Ngunit 'di lahat ng pinipitas ay inaalagaan, dahil ang iba ay pinaglalaruan. Di ko kayang lumayo dahil lumalapit ka. Isang laruan, tama lang, dito ka lang. Di ko kayang lumayo lumapit ka lang. Ngayon alam ko na. Ayoko ng tayo na lang ba? Dahil ang gusto ko ay tayo na talaga.

ALPHABET SERIES /part 19/ SAFE AND SOUND Four years have passed since I've written something on this blog and I am right here, quarantined in the most secure space of our home with my family just to ensure the safety of everyone amidst this nefarious pandemic that has befallen onto the world.  It is somewhat funny in a craziest sense that a virus would stop the world from revolving and it is even funnier that Sierra Madre's slope has finally said hi to us here in Metro Manila. The invisible became visible and the ruthless enemy is lingering around us without us noticing. This is a welcome back note. Four years I have been too busy with work and life that I've taken for granted the one thing that I love the most --- writing. Ever since then, I did other things that created bliss into my being and stress into my mind. Such a balance between happiness and responsibility. Right now, as I have an immense measure of time to go back to my first love, Safe and...

Pilitin ko man na itago ang nararamdaman ko, hindi ko magawa kasi sa tuwing lalapit ka, parang sa isang iglap lang ay bumubuhos ang mga salita mula sa labi ko. Hindi ko alam. Siguro nga ganito ang nararamdaman ng isang taong nagmamahal. Mahirap alisin sa dibdib, mahirap itago. Wala nang ibang paraan kundi sabihin na lamang. Hindi ko alam.  

Hindi ko namalayan na iniisip na pala kita. Akala ko naaalala ko lang 'yung mga bagay na nangyari sakin sa isang buong araw. Akala ko normal lamang na maglaro ka sa imahinasyon ko dahil bahagi ka ng labing-dalawang oras ko sa kalsada.  Nagtataka lang ako. 'Nung una, isang tipikal na araw lamang ang pagpasok sa opisina. Isang tipikal na oras lamang ang paghikab sa jeep ng dalawang oras. Isang tipikal na minuto lamang ang pagtambay sa cafeteria nang nag-iisa. Pero ngayon parang ang mga bahaging iyon ay hindi na mauulit kasi dumating ka. Nagtataka lang ako. Sanay akong mag-isa. Lahat ata ng bagay ginagawa ko ng walang tulong. Kumakain sa labas ng mag-isa, nagkakape sa labas ng mag-isa, bumibili ng libro mag-isa, tumatambay sa Happy Lemon ng mag-isa. Pero ngayon tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung pwede ba kitang yayain minsan? Tambay naman tayo.  Nagtataka lang ako. Bago ka dumating, isa akong pribadong tao, misteryoso sa paningin ng iba. Lahat sinasarili ko,...

How to love the wind when touches seem to dust away, When every breath is an inch between me and everybody else. How to love you when all it signifies is a storm of disappointments and whirlwind of choices When you're heading north and I am south. But on another book, it says "follow the wind" So I did Even if you're nowhere to be found, I can still feel you. Dreams will become realities and I am ready to cross the River Styx just to find you.

CHASING THE DUSK The echo speaks The horizon runs to the ocean with glee The trees cry for it is goodbye Turning to night when it is dawn The tears are joyous rains That fall down to open lust The dance of bamboo creates a wondrous myth Swaying and giggling and laughing The wind chimes with a whistle of a shadow That chasing the dusk on a full moon bright

I am staring at your beautiful brown eyes Imagining that will also touch my lashes Without a doubt, in my deepest of dreams Securing the peace that's within In this uncertain time where sadness overflowing like fast pacing runner on a field, I will run with you I will breathe the air that is in with you I will surrender all that's left of me to cure your heart Just promise me... To be the man who is willing to stare back at me Even if it means you'll never get to the finish line.

LAST POEM ABOUT YOU... Cool breeze smells like you Rewinding my avalanche of feelings when your name echoes But deep inside, my heart perspires Not of sweat but moist and fogs Beneath the hul-la-ba-loo Your peaceful face will be my haven Beyond wars and battles Your smile is my direction Wishing that on one fine day We will cross paths again Seeing on your starry eyes How love defines my name

Slam poetry vol. 1 (FREE WRITING) PAG-IBIG SA DULO NG LAPIS oo oo ang sinabi mo 'nung una kitang tinanong kung mahal mo ko oo din ang bumulusok mula sa nakangiti kong labi 'nung tinanong mo kung mahal kita ngunit hindi... hindi ang iyong tugon sa tanong kong, KAYA MO BA AKONG IPAGLABAN? hindi din ang sagot ko sa tanong mo na, KAYA MO BA AKONG BITAWAN? Siguro nga pareho lang tayo... Pareho lahat sa mga sagot na nilikha natin Pero tututol ako kapag sinabi nilang magkatugma ang mga tanong natin Lahat ata hindi maari... lahat ata ay di akin. Mabuti na nga lang sa mga panahong hindi ko maintindihan kung may TAYO ba, Naiisip ko na lang ang future na TAYO na. Mali ba? Mali bang maramdaman na kahit sa maikling sandali lang ay naging bahagi ka ng buhay ko? at naging bahagi ako ng buhay mo? kahit isang malaking fuck you ang lahat. natatandaan ko pa 'non, pa-ngiti ngiti ka pa sa harap ko. nahuhuli ko 'yang mga mata mo, lumiliwanag kapag nakikita ...

Emotions are flowing like a river. River that is wishing to become part of the sky. Like a joyful tears cascading down the boulevard, in this wondrous form of forgiving night. How will the joy revives? Seeing the sky full of stars. How will the dream survives? If the rains are hiding beyond the clouds. How will someone knows he'll be loved? If emotions are flowing like a river.

I remember how I look up the sky, waiting for the stars to fall. Imagining that you'll gonna be in it, in the twinkles beside the moon so bright. Every blink and every shutter leads to just one photograph, developing gradually in the dim of the night. And then lights were all too deep, a chasm of paradise over the eyes too keen. And finally from the moment of great desperation, I saw you... Stars after stars, connecting the blinking lights. There had occurred a seemingly impossibility, But this wonder leads me to thinking,  that forever... Your face will be my constellation.

I wasn't able to post this during holiday seasons. Anyways, here it is.      Is Santa will finally come to town?      "You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm telling you why..." Most probably you had sung it with joyous laughter and nostalgic smiles thinking that Christmas has already giving massive excitement to everyone most especially when you have thought of spending it with the ones you truly loved. But not everyone has given this kind of opportunity. More often than not, Filipinos (including you) value practicality up to the point when you are ready to exchange series of most celebrated holidays to years of servitude away from your families. But moments later you have trouble remembering when the last live hugs and kisses you had with them were, considering that your mind has only been seeing portraits and virtual images of them for the longest period of time. Others call this a long-distance relation...

What am I thinking just about right now? As a prologue to this self-proclaimed novel, let me first describe this wondrous night of 28th where November is just about to lose its glorious turn in this year of the sheep. Well, the noises were really evident with entertaining voices that were overlapping in a series of changing channels; the night has been splashing icey rains since the weather station announced to has been monitoring a possible typhoon; the smell of freshly brewed coffee that was left intact under my nostrils as I was drinking it earlier before I got home; the frenzied emotion I have feeling as I finally kiss my bed goodnight after that long and tiring battle for eternal city traffic. So imagine how it was entirely engaging (or probably not) to put my thoughts into a thousand repeated letters which I can call my blog. And yeah that was one hell of an introduction! As I am clinging with the literal scenarios of my daily life, I have come to unde...

..SA NAKARAAN      Magkabila ang ginagalawan nating mundo. Ni-hindi tayo magtagpo kahit sa boundary lang. May instances naman na magkatalikuran na tayo hindi pa natin alam. Nakangiti ka habang ako naghahanap. Eh ano nga ba ‘yung hinahanap ko? Hindi din ako aware kung ano ba talaga kaya ayun umalis na lang ako. Hindi ako lumingon sa kinalalagyan mo pero alam ko nakangiti ka pa rin. Ang sarap siguro sa feeling kung ang ngiti mong ‘yun ay para sakin. Wala lang naisip ko lang, kahit hindi kita kilala at hindi mo din ako kilala.      Hindi ko alam kung ‘san patungo ‘tong kwento ko. Ang alam ko lang ay nai-imagine ko ‘yung mukha mo kaya ako nagsusulat. Pero hindi talaga kita kilala. Hindi talaga. Ewan ko ba. Para akong praning kaka-type ng mga letra. Eh bawat letra naman ay parang sumisimbolo sa pangalan mo. Pero hindi ko alam ang name mo. Hindi talaga.      Gusto kong tanungin ‘yung pangalan mo para may rason nama...

Always alone in a sea of people, Seeing them giggling together with their loved ones. While me,pretending to have my own world, is stuck with the thought of having the same situations like their's To find the one for me without even searching. Imagining that he's in the same room as me thinking the same way. Staring at me from that corner dreaming the future ahead of him with me in it. It is romantically enticing. Not a whim but a long full of persevered prayers. I don't believe in the trials of searches, For it is the destiny that will find two people falling deeply in love at the right time in a state of unimaginative ecstasy. I know he's there but i don't know if he is waiting or not. It doesn't matter anymore because fate works in a very mysterious way. Just feel the magic every moment and one day, believe me, that magic will stay in you.

ALPHABET SERIES /part 18/ The heart goes triple beats per second as the drum rolls with the shouts and cheers of the audiences. You are standing with your special someone on a special platform with flowery skin and elegant  lighting . You are staring into each other’s eyes as if you two are alone inside your self-made fantasy land. The glitter and flicker of the lights seem to imitate the glows that have been burning passionately through your stares. At last, the song of the night solemnly plays with a kind of enthusiasm that only your favorite music will bring to you two. It is like an anthem of love, lost but has the power to linger softly through the air. It can choose. But it can never be dictated. How magical the night is for you! Wearing a princess-like gown with a pair of glass shoes while holding the hands of your one true love. The audiences are whispering, in the fragments of their conversation, they have adored you, they have fantasized being you. But the ...

ALPHABET SERIES /part 17/ The light of the day has casted shadows in my  corner I have never been intrigued by the way it  bounced to every side Until finally this moment happened This moment of greatest pleasure and immeasurable love This moment of intense feeling and infinite  heartbeats I have seen you from that corner Your smile glowed like a fluorescent passionately inundating my once blinded path I have you I know I have you From afar, I have realized that wherever your feet may lead you, the light will absolutely guides you back to where the fragments of my shadow are waiting And with it, I can finally say that eternity bounces back to two hearts that have met from the quantum of divided chances I love you I really love you.  

I have been wondering lately why some people have already reached what they desired for in lives that easy, while others, with long full of prayers, faith and perseverance are getting piled up in between of success and failures. Unfair isn't it? That's what most of the people would think also. And for the longest of time, I have always found myself clinging to that absurdity. Why not? Think about the times you have to auditioned in a drama play carrying your wit and positive aura but after all you've gone through you were rejected because someone with a beautiful face and appeal suddenly appeared out of nowhere. With his "pa-cute" smile and audience impact, he got in instead of you. Or think about the times you have to walked for a long distance just to go to school while your classmate (who happened to be your neighbor) was always ahead of you because he has a car of his own. Think about the time you have your first crush but he doesn't even turn an inch whe...

I'd never got an opportunity to update my blog for months now until this first experience of mine left me under the varying scenes of clouds and land all in one frame. I felt so ecstatic not just because I had conquered my first ever mountain experience regardless of screaming sky and clay of mud but also the change of the setting had improved my system. Imagine from the hustle and bustle of street life to the peaceful and euphoric sounds of crickets one will appreciate that nature is indeed God's way of saying, "Take your break child. Go. Breathe my fresh air and see how paradise was like during Genesis." It had never occurred in my indefatigable mind that I would automatically shuts down my fear and let my feet drag me higher and be on the summit. Despite of decreasing air in my lungs and the aches of my body (especially my feet) I was relieved when I saw butterflies flying enthusiastically around us! And I ha...